South Flatland Fiction

The job of the poet is to bring the reader/listener into the position of the poet; make them the creator of the action. Each step away from total involvement creates distance from the action. While some experts have written poems with great fluency while changing the 'person' of the poem, the poet should be extremely careful about attempting such a feat. Until one achieves some expertise, the point of view is better kept within one person.

1st person – gives immediacy and intimacy, sympathy is more intense. Drawback to 1st person use is that the poet can only write what he/she personally knows or sees.

2nd person - Rarely used but possible. It tends to make the reader (you) average either by idealizing or typicalizing the focus of the verse. Second person use in poetry almost seems instructional.

On Flying (first, second and third person)

It's twilight, and you are out in the street
when someone kicks a can that goes far
across the stream and over on the other side
so you have to find another can and start over.
The girls start teasing the boys
and the boys chase the girls.
It's windy and leaves are blowing.
You start running with the breeze.
Soon everyone is running;
It feels like you're flying.
But mothers call and you go to bed.
Before long you're in your own kitchen,
beating batter in a mixing bowl with one hand,
holding a kid with the other.
All of the women you've ever known
are in their kitchens with four walls and a stove.
Everyone marches in the cookie parade, but inside
I'm still running with the wind
and no one can call me home.

See the instructional mien of "On Flying" when the second person is used. And the sudden switch to first person at the end is jarring. Now read the same poem when only the first person is used, singular and plural.

On Flying (first person)

It's twilight, and we are out in the street
when someone kicks a can that goes far
across the stream and over on the other side
so we have to find another can and start over.
The girls start teasing the boys
and the boys chase the girls.
It's windy and leaves are blowing.
Some start running with the breeze.
Soon everyone is running;
It feels like I'm flying.
But mother calls and we go to bed.
Before long I'm in my own kitchen,
beating batter in a mixing bowl with one hand,
holding a child with the other.
Many of the women I've known
are in their kitchens with four walls and a stove.
Everyone marches in the cookie parade, but inside
you're still running with the wind
and no one can call you home.

3rd person - The narrator of poem may be either omniscient, reporting the thoughts of several characters or limited third person limited to a single limited character and that character's awareness.¹

It is possible to show multiple points of view and have all stay within the third person in a single poem. In the poem below, there are two omniscient points of view - the voice of the prayer reader and the voice of the narrator of the young girl. Lastly, is the voice of the mother.

Mixture of personhood can be done if carefully used. It can be used to allow shifting of interest from one character to another.

MY MOTHER’S KITCHEN
for three voices

Hail Mary,
         Her oven sears far more than bread and roasts,
                 Leave the cake alone, child. You already weigh too much.

full of grace,
         the lessons taught will rise like sour dough
                 Quit running. You’re a girl, not a hoyden.

the Lord is with thee
           producing bitter cake and battered fruit.
                  It's only a tiny spider. Don’t be such a baby. Kill it.

and with thy spirit.
        The morning sun’s bright light illuminates
                You can’t go with me like that, young lady. Go put on your hat and gloves.

Blessed art thou amongst women
          the stained-glass cross, hallowing her head,
                Quit crying. Everyone dies sometime.

And blessed is the fruit of thy womb.
           in caustic travesty.
                We’ll have a party tonight, missy. Your brother brought home a C in math.

Holy Mary,
          A child in need scoots across the kitchen floor,
                Don’t blame your brother. He didn’t know your canary would fly away.

Mother of God,
           in deference to oft-spoken words, bowed down
                He’s the son of our best friends. I do not believe he would do that to you.

pray for us sinners
           lest her failings mar the mother’s sight.
                 Why do you say such things? What will the nuns say?

now and at the hour of our death.
           Blessed are those who attempt independence for they shall be damned.
                 If you walk out of this house, don’t think you can ever come back.


Amen.

All of My Mother's Kitchen is in the third person, but the point of view shifts in each line of each tryplych.

Shifting of point of view from one character's actions to another is possible. Or it may allow the narrator to discuss others within the context of 1st person narration. Constant shifting of attention should be avoided because the distance between the reader/listener and the action becomes impossible.

¹Writing Poems, 4th Edition, Wallace, Robert and Michelle Boisseau, HarperCollins College Publishers, 1996.

Colleen Kelly Johnston
August 31, 2004

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Colleen Kelly Johnston is a native born Kansan of Irish heritage. Her grandparents homesteaded a ranch on the Kansas-Oklahoma border. Colleen wrote the first column on consumer awareness in Kansas and continued to write columns and articles on women's rights and political issues for local and national publications. Her book on political activism for volunteers was published in 1985. Colleen's first book of poetry and memoirs, Stepping Stones: Moments in a Woman's Life, was published in 2000. She is currently working on two novels and a poetry chapbook, The Gospel According to Me.

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