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Handling Character's Thoughts In Third Person

By Bonnie Eaton

Are you confused about the right way to handle characters' thoughts in third-person? Wipe the drops of blood away. There is help. Never again will you wonder whether to use quotes, italics, or "she/he thought." Learn now how to use techniques of interior monologue.

TEST YOUR FICTION SAVVY
You will find the answers at the end of the quiz.


l.    Never use quotation marks, single or double, around your characters'
      thoughts or "he/she thought" because:          
           (a)  The reader will assume that you are in dialogue instead of thoughts
           (b)  The reader will find it distracting if the writer tacks on "he/she
                  thought" at the end
           (c)   Both of the above
           (d)   None of the above


2.    The problem with putting thoughts in italics is:
           (a)  Interior monologue can switch from third to first-person
           (b)  Interior monologue can switch from past-tense to present-tense
           (c)  Italics are only useful for short thoughts
           (d)  All of the above
           (e)  None of the above


3.     The following example shows third-person point of view
       with first-person thoughts, and italics are used because the thoughts are
       short.
Doyle shifted his eyes quickly from side to side, searching the shadowy corners of the room. I can't believe it's happening again, he thought. How can she treat me this way?


4.    True or False: The following, with the italics dropped, is a better
       example of third-person narrative with first-person thoughts in
       present tense.
Doyle shifted his eyes quickly from side to side, searching the shadowy corners of the room. I can't believe it's happening again, he thought. How can she treat me this way?


5.    True or False: The following example has been switched from first-person
       thoughts and present-tense to third-person and past-tense, to match the
       past-tense narrative.
Doyle shifted his eyes quickly from side to side, searching the shadowy corners of the room. He couldn't believe it was happening again, he thought. How could she treat him this way?


6.     True or False: A final option, the best because it's smoother, is keep the
        third-person thoughts and past-tense but drop the "he thought" entirely.
Doyle shifted his eyes quickly from side to side, searching the shadowy corners of the room. He couldn't believe it was happening again. How could she treat him this way?


Now let's see how you scored. If you said ( c ) on the first question, give yourself 5 points.

Never use quotation marks, single or double, around your characters' thoughts because the reader will assume you are in dialogue instead of thoughts. The reader will also find it distracting if the writer tacks on "he/she thought" at the end.

If you answered ( d ) on question 2, give yourself another 5 points.

The problem with putting thoughts in italics is that interior monologue can switch from third-person to first-person and from past-tense to present-tense. Italics are useful only if the thoughts are short.

The answer to question 3 was true. Did you get another 5 points?

The example was shown in third-person point of view and first-person thoughts and italics were used because the thoughts were short. If the thoughts had been longer, the reader might begin to wonder if the writer was trying to decide between using third person or first.

The example: Doyle shifted his eyes quickly from side to side, searching the shadowy corners of the room. I can't believe it's happening again, he thought. How can she treat me this way?

Question 4 was also true. Take another 5 if you answered correctly.

The example shown, with the italics dropped, illustrates a smoother way to use third-person narrative with first-person thoughts in present-tense.

The example: Doyle shifted his eyes quickly from side to side, searching the shadowy corners of the room. I can't believe it's happening again, he thought. How can she treat me this way?

Did you answer true on question 5? You should have if you didn't. Sneaky of me, wasn't it? How's your points racking up? Five points possible.

The example was switched from first-person thoughts and present-tense to third-person and past-tense to match the past-tense narrative.

The example: Doyle shifted his eyes quickly from side to side, searching the shadowy corners of the room. He couldn't believe it was happening again, he thought. How could she treat him this way?

One to go. Ready? Question 6 is also true. Take another five for a correct answer. You just can't trust teachers, can you? You never expected the questions to all be true, did you?

The best approach is to keep the third-person thoughts and past-tense but drop the "he thought" entirely.

The example: Doyle shifted his eyes quickly from side to side, searching the shadowy corners of the room. He couldn't believe it was happening again. How could she treat him this way?

If you scored 30, you're flying high, 25 points shows you're pretty savvy, 20 indicates you're struggling, under 15 points--grab a good book on interior thoughts and study like crazy

I have drawn heavily from The Writer's Software Companion by Nancy Kress. At the time I bought the writing program, it sold for $79.95 from Novation Learning Systems and it is an indispensable aide to guide you through the maze of the writer's world.



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